Let’s be honest—being a volleyball parent is a full-time job. You’re the chauffeur, the snack provider, the emotional support system, and sometimes, the ref team (for your own sideline debates). As a former volleyball club director, I’ve seen it all—the super fans, the stressed-out stat trackers, the “just here for the snacks” parents, and the ones secretly reliving their glory days through their children. And trust me, I get it. You love your athlete, and you just want to see them succeed. But here’s the real game-changer: Your role on the sideline is just as important as theirs on the court.
Here are 4 important rules every volleyball parent should know:
1. Be Their Safe Space, Not Their Coach
Look, I know it’s tempting to give a full tactical breakdown in the car ride home. But chances are, your player is already replaying every missed serve in their head. What they really need? Support, not strategy.
Try this instead: “I love watching you play” (Changing the Game Project). That one sentence? Gold. It tells them you care, without making their performance feel like a job evaluation.
Director’s Perspective:
As a director, I saw so many parents trying to dissect the game after it was over, which is understandable—you’re passionate, you want the best for your child. But here’s the thing: In that car ride, your athlete is probably already second-guessing themselves. Give them the space to process without adding pressure. Instead of replaying the mistakes, how about celebrating the fact that they even got to be on the court, in the first place?
Coach’s Perspective:
From a coach’s standpoint, I can tell you—those car ride critiques can sometimes be more stressful than helpful. What kids really need is someone who will make them feel safe and confident, not someone who reminds them of every little mistake they made. They’re still growing, and the last thing they need is a third coach (aka you) turning into the “post-game critic.”
Addressing Playing Time:
When it comes to playing time, one thing that consistently frustrates parents is feeling like their child isn’t getting enough time on the court. But here’s the thing: Development is a marathon, not a sprint. You might feel like your child should be out there for every minute, but remember, they’re learning just as much from the sidelines. Use those moments to teach resilience.
Tip for Parents:
Encourage your athlete to stay engaged, even when they’re on the bench. Being a great teammate is just as important as being a star player.
Statistics:
Did you know that according to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, the American Academy of Pediatrics and USA Today High School Sports reported that 70% of athletes quit sports by the age of 13 due to parental pressures.
According to USA Today High School Sports, the Yellowbrick Treatment Program, a mental health treatment center based in Evanston, Illinois, conducted a youth survey across America and determined there has been a 6% decrease of youth participation in sports over the last 5 years. The pressure is undeniable. While some pressure can be beneficial, excessive pressure is unnecessary.
2. Trust the Process (Even When It’s Ugly)
Volleyball is a game of mistakes. Double contacts, shanked passes, net touches—it’s all part of the learning curve. Your player won’t get everything right, and honestly, neither will the Officials, they’re human.
So instead of riding the emotional rollercoaster of every call, show your athlete that you believe in their long-term growth. The best players aren’t perfect—they’re resilient. And that starts with learning to bounce back after setbacks.
Director’s Perspective:
As a club director, I saw the process of growth in action every season. Sometimes, the most frustrating moments turned into the biggest breakthroughs down the line. I get that it’s tough to watch your child struggle, but they’re going to learn more from these moments than from scoring the game-winning point. It’s about the grit, the determination, and the ability to bounce back stronger.
Coach’s Perspective:
From a coach’s angle, we often have to keep our players focused on the bigger picture. Sure, they might be upset after a missed serve, but what can they learn from it?
Volleyball is about the ups and downs, and the best players don’t just win games; they embrace failure as part of the journey. Teaching kids to trust the process is key for both individual and team growth.
Playing Time Tip:
So, what about playing time in all of this? It’s not always going to feel fair, and yes, your athlete might feel like they should be on the court more. But trust me, those character-building moments off the court—cheering for their teammates, staying positive on the sidelines—will make them stronger in the long run.
Fun Fact:
60% of kids say they’d rather have their parents cheer for them during tough moments than just praise their performance. A little positive reinforcement during the tough times makes all the difference in the world.
3. Cheer Loud, but Stay Classy
Yes, be loud. Be the loudest supporter in the gym. But keep it positive. The last thing a player needs is to hear their parent groaning from the stands after a missed hit. And please—don’t coach from the bleachers. It’s like trying to tell a surgeon how to operate from the waiting room.
Director’s Perspective:
As the director, I’ve seen plenty of sideline “coaches” who think they know what’s best. But listen—volleyball is fast, and from the sideline, you might miss a key detail or two. The coaches are on the court for a reason. Support your child with positive energy, but leave the coaching to us.
Coach’s Perspective:
From a coach’s perspective, I can’t stress this enough: Let us do our jobs. The sideline chatter, though well-intentioned, can be distracting for both players and coaches. Keep your cheers uplifting and focus on encouraging your athlete’s hard work. After all, they’re the ones on the court, giving it their all.
Playing Time Tip:
When it comes to playing time, some parents think they should be more vocal to push their kids up the lineup. But here’s the thing: coaches notice attitude just as much as skill. So, if your child is sitting out, use it as a time to support them in a positive way. Being a good teammate is what leads to more minutes on the court in the long run!
Fun Fact:
Did you know that 90% of athletes say their confidence and performance improves when their parents cheer positively? Keep that in mind next time you’re on the sidelines!
4. Remember, It’s Their Journey
This one is big. Your athlete’s success isn’t a reflection of your worth as a parent. Their playing time, their mistakes, their wins—it’s their story to write. The best gift you can give them? Letting them love the game for themselves.
Director’s Perspective:
As a director, I saw parents who lived vicariously through their children all the time. But here’s the thing: Your athlete is carving their own path, and sometimes that means not following the exact steps you’d take. Trust the process and trust them. They’ll thrive because of your support, not your athletic expectations.
Coach’s Perspective:
As a coach, I tell parents all the time: Your kid’s journey in this sport is theirs, not yours. Your role is to encourage, support, and provide guidance—but ultimately, their love for the game needs to come from within. The more you let them take ownership of their experience, the more they’ll develop a true passion for volleyball.
Playing Time Tip:
When it comes to playing time, remember that every kid develops differently. Some players are naturally more comfortable on the court, others need a bit more time to adjust. Embrace the process, even if your child isn’t playing as much as you’d like. Their growth is happening off the court as well.
Fun Fact:
According to a study by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, 75% of kids say they enjoy their sport more when their parents are supportive, no matter how much playing time they get (National Alliance for Youth Sports, n.d.). That love for the game? It starts with you.
Read more education for volleyball parents.
About the Author
After 20 years of coaching, 2 years of club directing, and navigating the wild world of club volleyball, Christy Callahan wrote a short guide that every sports parent needs in their bag. It’s all about how to support your athlete while keeping your sanity intact. Because let’s be real—this game is just as much a mental sport for parents as it is for players.
For 20 years, Christy has been serving up volleyball wisdom, coaching athletes to dig deep—literally and mentally. As a former club director, she helped train 1,600 youth, launching club volleyball in an area where the sport barely existed. A former Stevenson University player, Christy now channels her energy into writing, blogging, and motivating others through her five published books and growing business. Whether it’s coaching, storytelling, or firing up a room with motivation, one thing’s certain—Christy doesn’t just build teams, she builds legacies.
📖 Check out her book! Available FREE on Amazon Kindle Unlimited → Amazon.com-Ultimate Club Guide
